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Monday, August 30, 2010

What a difference 5 months makes!

In just 5 short months there's been a transformation happening that words can't describe. Not just a physical transformation but a spiritual one as well. For the first time in a VERY long time my soul is alive! I want to dance, I want to sing, I want to celebrate this life and the renewed hope I've been given. Instead of just simply existing, I want to live life and I finally truly believe that I deserve to! I find myself walking a little taller, smiling bigger and stepping out of my comfort zone and participating in life instead of watching it pass by being to afraid to do anything. One of my greatest wishes in life is to inspire and encourage others through my journey and help them in theirs. Every day I wake up less afraid of what life has in store for me and more excited and grateful that I get to look forward to and be excited about what's to come. I know that what God has planned for my life is far greater than anything I could imagine and that thrills me! I'm really getting to the place where I want to allow these things to happen and I want to let all the good things in. I take and keep pictures of my progress as I go through this journey to become a healthier, happier version of me. The difference in not only the physical but in my eyes is mind blowing. I look into my own eyes and see how bright they are, how happy they are. I finally see the person who's been trying to get out for SO long and I love who I see in the mirror!

Morning of Surgery

Last night

Friday, August 27, 2010

24, 102, and 14!!

What do these numbers mean? A lot actually! 24 is the number of pounds until I'm no longer in the 300s, 102 is the number of pounds I've lost in the last 5 months, and 14 is the points my BMI has dropped! It's hard to wrap my mind around all of this. I've lost the equivalent of a small horse! How much of a difference that much weight gone has impacted my body and my life. On my wedding day in May of 09 I could barely stand for my ceremony and to think if I did it again today I'd have A LOT less of a problem standing there the whole time. I can't remember a time in my adult life that I didn't weigh over 300 pounds. I'm sure there was a time(probably over 8 years ago) but I NEVER got on a scale. My journey started a LONG time ago but it wasn't until May of 2009 that I really started taking back control over my life and allowing myself to be the person I deserve to be. I began to eliminate toxins from my life and make my health, my marriage, and my faith a priority. The emotional freedom that has happened has been amazing. So many doors have been opened and I no longer feel hopeless, lost, unhappy or undeserving of the amazing life God has planned for me. I spent so much time hiding and afraid that I never let my true potential, my true self worth show. I'm proud to no longer be afraid to take that journey, no longer afraid to succeed because I know that even if I fall I'm strong enough to get back up and keep going after the life I want. I want to celebrate life now which is not something I really wanted to do in recent years. We're all faced with the challenges that are life and sometimes they will kick you in the gut and test every fiber of your being. It's our job to get up and know that we are worth more than our challenges, we deserve more than the garbage that life hurls our way. Don't be afraid to want more out of life because life has SO much better for us than we settle for. I'm beyond excited for what's next. Every day I see more and more of my true self coming back and it reflects on every aspect of my life and my relationships. It goes much further than the number on a scale, it's the realization that I CAN and WILL overcome anything life throws at me and with the grace of God I will be everything in life that I'm meant to be.